Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in megz_iz_a_angel's LiveJournal:

Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
12:04 am	Ladies and gentlemen Well well where do i begin............. i haven't updated this in a long time so here we go.......... I have finally graduted,I'm done with finals and it's weird i'm done with highschool. my sister and i are good now i quit being stubborn and finally made a mends, Still dedicated bachlorette. Maybe not for long but for now! I'm going to visit my family in chicago so will so how that goes. I also quit my job oh yeah i stuck it to the man. I miss everyone i hope i get see u guys before breaks over. I"m moving out on january 2nd go me. And I start college the 10th of january. Other than that nothing else interesting. Well that's about it. Love peace and turkey grease. peace out megz Current Mood: tired Current Music: Ciara 1,2, step (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
8:43 pm	RANTING (sorry) alright just warning everyone this will be interesting, i'm going to actually state how i feel. alright so my senior year it's so so i hate my school yes, people at my school are still kissing my ass for some god forsaken reason, which by the way is annoying, futhermore my guy friends that i have grown up with haven't changed a bit other than the fact that their pussy whipped. Which is fine but,,, they haven't changed it's like i sit there everday to the same fucking conversation i wanna blow my brains out lol well sorta..... now i am offically bitter again, i don't want a boyfriend FUCK THAT!!!!!!! i'm sick of that shit to your so pretty why don't you have a boyfriend f u up the a lol because i'm trying my best to not be like a lot of my friends that make sure there entire world revolves around one person, i'm sick of being cheated on, and yea i'm sick of being nice to the guys i go out with and get spit on pretty much.I'm done!!!!I feel stuck i need to like go to california for a couple of weeks or something . i need a break. all i do is work and school which is fine i love work but i don't really have a social life ne more, which sux but it's part of getting older. I just found out my aunt has cancer. i'm really worried about her.my head feels like it's going to cave in and now i have to go to the doctor and get blood work because not only is my uterus shedding to quickly which means i might not be able to have kids my hypoglecemia is getting worse so now i get blood work and shit done YA!!!!!lol My parents are good i never see them because of all of our work schedules which is fine. I'm not going up and visitin brady. i'm not even bothering. when the phone rang and he didn't answer it reminded me why am i even bothering>??? hello!!lol i had a good weekend and hopefully this one will be okay i need something..... for the weekend to cheer me up lol well peace out sorry i bitched but really this is the only place i can vent right now!!!! Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: cry me a river- JT (Comment on this)
Monday, September 20th, 2004
10:41 pm	since i haven't updated in a while Well let's see here since i haven't updated in a while where should i start....... well i'm doing good, my job is fun most days..... i hate highschool now more then ever (thank you college friends) lol i'm single surprise surprise and intend to stay that way for a while. I do have a couple interests in mind like this cute guy who stares at me from afar but never has the balls to say hi , well actually he did today and then acted like he won the lottery.....loser lol /jk actually i'm kewl with being single..... um,,, i'm still good friends with everyone i miss liz, and keyan... jeff and i still really don't understand eachother and that's still kewl. My best guy friend lost his virginity to some girl who has money but looks like she fell off the ugly tree head first. i went to a wedding over the weekend and was a bridesmaid since the limo canceled we got on one of the groomsmen brand new chevy 4x4 and rode it up and down this strip bridesmaids on one ledge groomsmen on the other and husband and wife on tool box while listen to " save a horse ride a cowboy" then we get flagged down by this lady that runs this newspaper in tennessee and takes a picture so were in the newspaper .. went to ISU this weekend nuff said will have kristen or greg tell that story other than that something funny happened but i'm not mentioning it lol!! so ttyl peace out.......megs (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 19th, 2004
9:37 pm	yeah You are Katrina. Popular with the guys, and always confident. Which Vintage Disney Girl are you? brought to you by Quizilla You are Rogue! You are sexy and strong willed, and able to take on just about anyone. You long for a serious relationship, but whenever you begin to get close to someone things always seem to take turns for the worse. But you have dealt with this lack of closeness with an almost constant flirtacious behavior. Which X-Men character are you most like? brought to you by Quizilla (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 13th, 2004
10:37 pm	my poem THE WAY THEIRS SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY YOU LOOK INTO MY EYES. THE WAY I KNOW WHAT YOU SAY AREN'T LIES. THE LOOK YOU GIVE ME EVERYDAY. YOU KNOW I GET SPEECHLESS AND SUDDENLY HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. THE WAY YOU HOLD ME WHEN I'M DOWN. YOU LIFT ME UP AND MYSELF I'VE FOUND. WHEN YOU SAY I LOVE YOU,YOU GET THIS TWINKLE IN YOUR EYE AND BECAUSE OF THIS TWO YEARS HAVE FLOWN BY. I'M HAPPY YOU FOUND ME AND ALL MY FEARS ARE IN THE PAST, THANK GOD I FOUND A LOVE THAT FINALLY LAST. YOU'VE MADE ME LAUGH AND BECOME NEW. I NO LONGER FEEL LIKE RUNNING AWAY FROM LOVE, SPIRTUALLY I GREW. SO THANK YOU FOR STEALING MY HEART AWAY WIHTOUT YOU I'D BE BITTER WITHOUT LOVE EVERYDAY. BY: MEAGHAN EDWARDS SORRY THIS IS MUSHY I REALLY DIDN'T WRITE THIS ABOUT NE ONE I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD RHYME A LOVE POEM. LOL PEACE OUT (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 30th, 2004
10:52 pm	well shit all the cool kids are doing it!!!!! F i r s t s 01.First best friend: bobby k-3rd until i moved 02.First car: buick regal sport 03.First real kiss: pat he's stillon my top 5 04.First break-up: ben 05.First screen name: bigbooty4_u 06.First self purchased album: space jam!!! yeah buddy!!! 07.First funeral: my uncle 08.First pets: tigger my kitty 09.First piercing/tattoo:ears 10.First credit card: yeah right 11.First enemy: there's too many my first that's a tuffy some bitch that stole my swing??lol i dunno?? 12.First big trip: kentucky when i was 8 l a s t s 01.Last cigarette: 2 days ago sorry guys 02.Last car ride: to decatur and back yesterday 03.Last kiss: 2 weeks ago 04.Last good cry: last april when my friend died 05.Last library book checked out: don't believe in such a thing i am reading a book called odd thomas though 06.Last movie seen: harold and amaad go to white castle 07.Last beverage drank: Water 08.Last food consumed: um,,,,, bread 09.Last crush: i don't get crushes really???!!!! um,,,, chris richardson 10.Last phone call: to my cuz in flordia 11.Last time showered: 15 minutes ago 12.Last shoes worn: slippers at the moment 13.Last item bought: hoops 14.Last annoyance: getting hit on today non- stop in english and foods by a jackass 15.Last time wanting to die: i don't really care when i go i go~ r e l a t i o n s h i p s 01. who are your best friends no particular order... nathan phyll chris R. robynn calhan morgan cassie jack elizabeth fouts (lixxie my pixxy) liz amanda kristen keyan jessie chris . m. greg jeff 02. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? nope all guys r good for is dick if that lol well not at the moment s p e c i f i c s 01. do you do drugs? no unless ur counting alcohol as a drug then guilty as charged(god i hope they use handcuffs oopss...)lol 02. what kind of shampoo do you use? tres'emme 03. what are you most scared of? never succeeding 04. what are you listening to right now? goodies by ciara 05. where do you want to get married? bahamas or hawaii 06. how many buddies are online right now? dunno not on. 07. what would you change about yourself? like everything i dunno not my personality though f a v o r i t e s 01. color: pink food: french fries, chicken, pasta, chocolate,pizza, ice cream 03. boys' names: matthew, joel, and anthony 04. girls' names: dragana, lieren, mayleya 05. subjects in school: biology, foods, health occ., and art 06. animals: dogs, dolphins, horses, and bunnies 07. sports: softball, soccer, football, and hockey 08: perfume: strawberries and champagne and love spell victoria secret, juniper breeze bath nad body works, tommy girl, lucky, and obession 09. cologne: avatar, hugo, nautica, axe, tommy boy, adidas h a v e | y o u | e v e r 01. given anyone a bath? yea i'm a cna it's my job!!lol 02. smoked? Yea 03. bungee jumped? no but want to 04. made yourself throw up? yep can't ne more though 05. skinny dipped? yeah among other naked stories 06: ever been in love? more like infatuated 07. made yourself cry to get out of trouble? yeah 08. pictured your crush naked? oh yeah 9. actually seen your crush naked? oh YESSSSSSAAAAA 10. cried when someone died? yep 11. lied? i'm good at it i just don't do it 12. fallen for your best friend? yeah unfortunately 13. been rejected? yeah like a couple times 14. rejected someone? o yeah 15. used someone? yea but a girl's gotta get hers 16. done something you regret? being too scared to like someone and not going for it when i should have oh well c u r r e n t 01.clothes: boxers t-shirt 02.music: happy ending 03.make-up: none 04.smell: juniper breeze 05.desktop picture: arizona 06.cd in player:a mix cd 07.dvd in player: school of rock i have to watch that movie like once a week l a s t | p e r s o n 01.you touched: my mommy 02.hugged: my mom 03.you kissed: andy the dude from isu 04.cuddled with: aaron a r e | y o u 01.understanding: try to be 02.open-minded: yeppers 03.arrogant: nope 04.insecure: a little 05.interesting: in bed duh lol uh... yea 06.hungry: nope. 07.smart: i guess 08.moody: not really 09.hardworking: yes, very hard 10.organized: when i have to be 11.healthy: yeah and no 12.shy: if the bra fits in this case it's an a cup and i'm a c hell no 13.attractive: only on the weekends i dunno???? who wants to know 14.bored easily: yeah sometimes depends on what's going on n u m b e r 01.of times i have had my heart broken: once 02.Of hearts i have broken: too many 03.of guys i've kissed: OMG like i can count that high 04.of girls i've kissed: 4 05.of continents i have lived on: 1 06.of tight friends: 7 07.of cds i own: near 432 08.of scars on bod: 10 (Comment on this)
Monday, August 23rd, 2004
11:13 pm	back to school yeah this weekend was great we joked laughed i made out with a hot guy, kristen might end up dating my best friend it's all good ..... i love college can't wait to go i'll fit right in........ school sucks i pretty much was grinning and bearing all day all the people i liked which are few and in between left so it sucks not that i can't amke other friends but i really don't want to chum up with the girls like they've been trying to do w/me their back stabbing bitches...... worked sucked i'm abit grumpy i get my car next week........ so that'll be good.....um,,,,,, that's about it next trip is to liz' which will be fun too.... well g2g peace out (Comment on this)
11:12 pm	the mix caled megz?>?? How to make a megz_iz_a_angel Ingredients: 5 parts jealousy 5 parts silliness 5 parts joy Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Serve with a slice of lovability and a pinch of salt. Yum! Username: Personality cocktail From Go-Quiz.com (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 16th, 2004
3:38 am	well.............. this weekend was fun,,,, i hung out with old friends new friends have stories up the ass none which involve me being the dumb one huh that's a first lol!!!!! i start work today..... i didn't make out with that guy at all kristen knows what i am talking about...... i don't want ne one on my mind right now so i'm trying to keep it that way,,,,,, i give up i'm getting to the point where i just don't give a fuck but alot of the times when this happens i push people away.....not in a mean way i dunno i'm happy school is starting because i do miss some of my friends....and i haven't really hung out with them i think i might take a break from the "group" for a while not because i'm pissed because i need space i guess you could say i just..... honestly feel sometimes that i am outta place and it's fine but at the same time the looks and me getting corrected all the time is a little annoying which is fine but it's a little fusturating..... because i've never had a group of friends that didn't understand me until now and that's what i love about everyone their so different and great people and i love it but at the same time i feel a bit burnt out and like i said a little misunderstood but it's all good it's just how i feel at the moment and this is in no reguards towards ne one i have this piece for a reason so i'm using it lol!!!!! ne ways i had to get that off my chest it's been on my mind for a while i just said now and no i'm not staying away for like a month so that's not a worry ne ways love ya guys!!!!!! Current Mood: cold Current Music: broken-seether (Comment on this)
Friday, August 13th, 2004
12:14 am	random shit........ okay i had this weird occuring thought in my head and for those reading this ur probably like dear god she has a thought lol ne ways i was thinking about me being single and my friends but i came up with this honestly thinking about my past expericences. what if we're all faking it what if because of what society has drilled in our heads since we were kids....we're faking relationships hear me out now think about.... everyone has an urge to be with another whether male or female we don't like being alone it's bad ....... not really but that's how we feel how other people make u feel and how society so happily drilled in our heads without some sort of significant other your only half of what you could be..... and it sucks..... some of my friends would vouch for this,,,, if you think about it for people who have dated a bit being with someone it's for a purpose whether it's fear of being alone, wanting to feel secure, to boost urself up, sex, money... whatever the reason wouldn't it make the relationship vain and let's face it how many of us have done that before????? i have maybe it's just me but i have dated people for certain selfish reasons and that's probably why alot of relationships don't work out... because people are so self centered that even in relationships they're not willing to realize their faults it goes for both parties.... now not all relationships work that because some people are more selfless or have less expericence dating or a combo of both which is kewl.... i heard this once and it kinda stuck with me ... learning to achieve the patience of love is the most important love can't be what you want it to be love is just love.... ne ways i dunno like i said random thought....... on a lighter note i'm really sad everyone is going back but i still have k-dogg lol malrich keyan jessie and my friends here....... i'm staying with my friend tommorow will see how that goes it'll be fun but tony is going to be there and we totally made out last time so.... i'm staying away i need to reflect on my self a bit before i start ne thing i'm not gonnna finish..... KRISTEN AND I ARE GOOD NOW not that we were bad but everything is kosher lol ne ways to-shay well i'm going to bed surpise lol good night love ya home g-funks\ p.s. i put my self on the hot or not and i am 9.1 hot outta 10 i'm excited sorry i just found out!!!!!!! lol gay but i did it as a joke thinking i would get like a 2... so it's funny SUCKERS!!!!!!!haha peace out!!!! Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: balls-ac/dc (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
1:56 pm	Alright i'm fed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry but................ First of all i know jeff likes kristen better that's kewl i knew that i told her that he cares about you and so do the rest of the guys i'm kewl with that cuz you need it..... futhermore i'm not on the same level with sarah because she put you down and said shit behind your back and hit on EVERY GUY YOU LIKED!!! so what i fucked up i didn't go streaking i tried my best to hold up my own,,,, we were fine spending all that time together it was saturday night that killed us,,,, and that's sad cuz it was a good time it would have been better if you would've stayed in the house you would've had more fun.... i dunno honestly when you and i are togther u little urself and it's wrong and makes me feel like shit cuz here a have a friend who am around and i make her feel bad or at least that's how it makes me feel.... sorry i messed up a bit i honestly love everyone & kristen i love u to death you should know that,,, but what the fuck am i suppose to do??????? and yeah it does hurt.... not about jeff but about this whole thing i can't change how you feel only you can do that but i can change coming around it hurts really bad to say that but whatever i guess you have to do things you don't want to..... i dunno it just sux that something so fun can turn into something so shitty. Jessie thank you for throwing the party,, i had a good time and alot of other people did too.... kristen i really don't know what to say at first i was pissed but it's how you feel and i have to respect that.... i still love ya but i really don't know what to feel about everything, honestly i'm really trying not to be a bitch right now so this is the best post i can do without bitching or saying how much this hurts and sucks. i respect how you feel but ,,, i really don't know what to say..... peace out home frys...... Current Mood: don't know??? Current Music: head it all before- sunshine anderson (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 8th, 2004
5:30 pm	find your element at mutedfaith.com. Innocent What's your sexual appeal? brought to you by Quizilla (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 29th, 2004
1:19 pm	HELP!!! okay well i'm alittle worried about kristen i keep talking to her about the problems she's having she keeps telling me and today she just hung around the house for a couple of hours sure i got her to laugh but it's tuff. I've had a few friends that were depressed one killd themself and the other 2 just cut themselves for a year they would call me and tell me to talk them out of it granted if i were going to do it i wouldn't plead.. but no the less. kristen feels that no matter what she does she's not good enough she feels a little lost u could say. i'm worried i keep telling her guys can't define who you are i felt like killing myself a couple years ago my life sux but it got better i learned i believe alot of people go through the same situations and get different results......... i know she'll pull through but i don't know if i can go through this again and keep my chin up....which sounds vey selfish and i don't mean it like that i mean i get close to my friends and it rips my heart out to see ne one like this..... that's all it's not her fault u can't help how she feels. if i could take how happy i am and give that to all my friends and i was never happy again i would do it people deserve to be happy she doesn't fully realize that people care and love her.... i would ball if ne thing happened to ne one of my friends..... i've already been to a couple of my friends funerals..... ne ways i'm glad she feels she can talk to me i always want ne one of my friends whether we are close or not to know thety can count on me!! if ne one needs ne thing u can call..... okay sorry justin for logging off i will call you!!! yes i can get deep i just don't like people knowing that unl;ess their close to me most people depiect sorry spelling damn virden education ne ways as a party girl or someone who's not serious whichis fine by me because not everyone will ever get to know ya.... well that's all LOVE YA peace out (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 25th, 2004
1:47 am	isn't it ironic don't cha think or just fate??? okay well let's see here i have quite a bit to say so here we go.friday i hung out with keyan for a couple hours and climbed the top of centennial park hill lovely ne ways we tlaked about relationships and i openly admitted that i'm scared of loving someone or being loved in return i don't want it to change me i'm scared. so after that we ate with my mother and we talked went and saw a movie By the way my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard that's right now play with ur titties!!lol we went to steak and shake. two of my friends walked in i talked to them for a while it was great they tried to get me to go with them but i said no,,,,,,,,, hopefully we'll hang out next week!! ne ways while i talked to kristen last night we were talking about love and relationships and i told her i had a couple regrets 1. holding on 2. letting go 3. no trying to fight for what u want and i am talking about three different guys one for each number. i told her maybe brady didn't really cheat on me maybe it was easier to dislike him if he cut that deep granted their were certain information that i found out but nothing solid and i feel bad for that.ne ways i helped kristen move today and later we went to jeff's house we were suppose to see a movie by the way LIZ I KNOW WHY U WANTED TO SEE CATWOMAN!!! lol ne ways so while waiting at jeff's house the phone rings the weird thing is i thought it was brady and so did kristen we both got a weird feeling that iw ould see brady tonight and when i saw kristen face i knew she had the same feeling i had. so ne ways i'm eating and talking and then all of a sudden i see him.. i almost shit my pants i had to blink to make sure. kristen knew right then and there it was brady so when he gets up to leave i told him to come over so he walked over and i told that i was sorry and childish that i missed him and i would've called but i knew he wouldn't pick up his phone. he told me i ddin't do nething wrong that he was stupid and sorry and then i told him i really liked him and i would've done things differently he told me he that he felt they same way ,he told me he was avoiding me when i kinda mentioned it so he told me to give him a call and we'll hang out next weekend which is kewl we both felt the same way we hugged he left.. then i was happy but the weird thing is not only did i have a dream about that moment but seconds b-4 i noticed him i was telling kristen how i'm ready to let all the hurt go with guys and maybe start new what's better than that is after he left i told kristen that that gods' devine fate at best and right when i said that a car pulled in that said god's plan on the license plates. i'm glad i got closure i hope we can be friends if not well i got my closure what more can i ask for???? i'm happy i feel free i hope he feels teh same i know he meant what he said cuz he didn't even try to act kewl he straight up apologized and told me not that he was stupid i feel great................ lol ne ways so now i'm good..... lol but uh... bye the justin were hanging out and ugh...... i'm not just jane i'm merry jane aight. moral of the story fate will get u everytime!!! peace out (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 8th, 2004
11:45 am	??????????????????????????????? Alright i haven't updated this bitch so here we go. Camp was fun i hung out wih alot of college people. Nathan and i finally got to hang out an old friend and i made nice. Let's see i didn't talk to chad in 2 weeks. I'm trying to get away from him but i ran into him anyways. Um.... i had fun in Chicago. Lot's a fireworks!!! last night was fun we played at the park!!! it felt good to hang out with my friends, i do miss camp though!! When i left early everyone at camp was hugging me likie i was gonna die it was cute though!! we played frisbee and volleyball then went to steak & shake surprise surprise lol!!! they should name that place after us!!! okay here goes the weird part of the night. ok well first i see chad then when we go to shopko to visit liz holla at cha girl lol i saw chris which liked me a while back he is a really nice guy, then at steak and shake this couldn't have been to perfect. okay the guys sitting next to us i've gotten drunk with and he tried to do stuff with me plus i totall save his life i can't stand him to amke things better and he is now really good friends with my friend Phyll. the girl next to him was my ex's best friend across form her was my other ex's best friend and the girl next ot him was the cousin of my other ex.... then i see one of my friends that graduated 2 years she was with another one oif my ex's and what happened there is he had a girlfreind lied to me about and then i dated his best friend!!! needless to say there not friends ne more!! Then right next to them was this guy in a band that liked me but i didn't lie him!!! Then when we go out to the parking lot boucher walks outof his car although that wasn't a big deal but non the less ironic considering who he's friends with.Kyle is talking shit but o well!!! um,, yeah my dad hired someone else instead of him!!! oh and for the record i ahven't seen conrad in a month. Jessie< kristen <Matt<adam< and I played basketball it was fun well this is it for now cuz i gotta get keyan peace out!!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 18th, 2004
10:46 pm	Back At Last WELL CAMP WAS FUN A LITTLE STRESSFUL BUT FUN NONE THE LESS!! uM..... LOT'S A KIDS HAD PROBLEMS AND SOME HUNG OUT W/ME ALL DAY AND SOME OF THE NIGHT!! WELL OKAY HERE WE GO..... THERE WAS A LOT OF QUOTE " NAKEDNESS" THAT'S A STORY ALL IT'S OWN! THIS GUY THAT IS ENGAGED HE'S 19 AND HITS ON ME!! IT'S WAS FUNNY THE DORM MOM AND I SHE'S 21 R BIG GUYS IT'S A TRADITION THAT GUYS GO THROUGH AND WE WERE THE FIRST GIRLS TO GO THROUGH IGNITATON!! WHICH IS ANOTHER STORY I WILL TELL IN PERSON!! I' M REALLYU TIRED AND HAVE TO PACK AGAIN CUZ I'M LEAVING FOR ST.LOUIS>>>> I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH NE ONE THIS WEEK YES THERE WAS ALOT OF FLIRTING BUT NOTHING MORE!!!(SORTA) UM,,,, I'M A LITTLE SAD I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BECAUSE I LEFT CAMP WHICH I MISS ALREADY IF I COULD LIVE THERE I WOULD OR IF IT'S JUST THE MOOD BUT OH WELL!!! I FEEL LIKE CRAP TO CUZ I ALMOST FAINTED!!! MY HYPOGLUCEMIC GOT TO ME REALLY BAD!!! O WELL NOT MUCH ELSE GOING ON I ALMOST WISH I TOOK THE OFFER UP ON BEING A COUNSLER FOR 3 MORE WEEKS BUT I FIGURED MY FRIENDS WOULD MISS ME!!! WELL GONNA GO PEACE OUT!!! megz (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 13th, 2004
1:18 am	The Lowdown alright so here we go......... Um,, we went to liz's house weds. had a good time thanks liz we did miss jessie though much love homie-g lol thursday at christen's i totally started an ice throwing fight which turned into a water gun fight while christen squirted me i stood by the bathroom and keep opening the door putting water in a glass getting her soaked then close the door again!!! then me keyan,christen, and evan all went swimming. friday i feel bad for though because i went out with this guy and well all that read this i'll tell ya what happened next monday when i'm back in full swing from camp!!! but tonight i hung out with conrad (greg) the thing about that is he likes me and i like him 2 but he's too shy, and off topic but OMG I WANT CLOSURE, i need camp to rest my busy mind lol sometimes i run so fast i don't have time to breathe.I feel bad cuz i totally kinda kissed to guys one night after another at this point i think a boyfriend would keep me out of trouble but here is the problem I DO NOT TRUST MEN!!! oh and on top of that i'm starting to mess w/there heads again !!! i'm a lil confused at the moment cuz these guys if u saw the way they look at me i feel like bad for once normally i don't i believe my consious may be coming back to haunt me!! lol well i'm packing for camp and hopefully there won't be any guys cuz that's the last thing i need right now!!! lol i'm at the point where i want play i get it and then don't care, but the guys do so i am walking on glass and am trying not to be a slut lol!!! very fine line!!! ne wayz this summer is going good so far i hope it'll get better,, i have a feeling the shit may hit the fan eventually though!!! o well!!! it's bound to happen!!! other than that not much happenin i'm tired and i can't believe i am a senior i tried my whole life to grow up it's happening and it sux but there are things to look forward to so may the best of our past be the worst of our future may we carry on with the knowledge of our past the hope of the future and the excitement of the here and know LOVE YA GUYS I"M OUTTIE xoox catch ya on the flip side MEGZ Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: freak-a-leak (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
9:53 am	Drama Drama Drama alright so last night was fun. I got to hang out with everyone that i haven't seen in like forever. It was unusually mellow but that's kewl, even i wasn't miss sunshine. By the way *greg i'm not trying to mount u!!!* lol j/k ne wayz we played moods and that was about it. kristen was talking to this guy. She's finally getting the strength to be bolder I AM PROUD!!!! my girls grown up so much tear tear!!! Steph and Justin broke up last night that's the drama.They both were really upset and they only dated for like a few weeks. Now correct me if i'm wrong but a couple weeks isn't worth the time or energy to give two shits less about. i don't understand why people get as upset as those too got but oh well none of my business!! Jessie and Liz are so............ cute!!! Awwww............ lol there both little sweeties! Jeff is a sweetheart too!! I have to counsel the 13 - 18 i'm excited!!! i love camp!! after that we have 6 flags and we go camping together that outta be interesting!!! lol well i'm single with no intetion of having a boyfriend right now. I swear..... i either break the poor guys heart or I get cheated on!!! damn the luck!! lol ne wayz y are most of the god men taken!!! they're either taken of flaming gay, which is fine but doesn't help me out any!!!lol o well hopefully this summer will be fun!!!! catch ya on the flip side peace!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 13th, 2004
10:35 pm	TO DAY WAS SO>>>>>>>> EXCITING LIKE BUNNIES!!!! okay so not to bitch but today was stressful, but the purpose of having this journal isn't to rant so i won't!!! YEAH SO I"M FULL OF SHIT!!!!!! lol ne wayz i'm tired and felt the sudden need to update this piece of shit!!! lol well i'm going clubbin thank god!!! i need some good pure unsensored fun!!! i'm single and that's what i do!!! SLuty but fun!! lol no j/k i hope this summer will be interesting not that i lead a boring life even if i am stuck out in bum fucking egypt thanks mom and dad!!! lol man i'm so busy it sucks i barely have time to breathe!!!this girl that i use to be freinds with is sick she's starving herself and now weighs 85 lbs. and she's 5"3 she looks sick and if she doesn't stop she's going to kill her self, my friends in the hospital she went in and out of a coma my other friend died 2 weeks ago my parents well we won't get on that i've had test after test and still more to come!!! oh well i can handle i'm just so,,,,, tired i feel like i'm gonna collapse oh plus i need to go to the doctor because my hypoglysemia is getting worse and it's beating the shit outta my body... oh well shit happens, i don't think stress helps either but i always have to be the rock!! i can handle i just feel like i'm spreading a little thin that's all hopefully no one reads this page cuz i don't want ne one to feel sorry for me i just need somewhere to bitch cuz it's not right to dump it off on friends!!!other then that everything is kosher. MY life is good on the whole and i am handling my responsiblities well. although i have no words of wisdom 2nite just keep the faith and push on life gets better and day by day you'll become stronger well love peace turkey grease i'm outty (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
9:13 pm	FIRST ENTRY WELL SCHOOLS ALMOST OVER AND I'M GLAD! HOPEFULLY THIS SUMMER WELL BE FUN. I'M TRYING TO STAY SINGLE BUT OH WELL!!! I HOPE I GET TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS THIS SUMMER CUZ LAST SUMMER I DIDN'T! KYLE IS WITH MELISSA AND I REALLY LIKE HER. SHE AWESOME!! I LOVE KYLE 2 THOUGH!! UM,,,,, I HAVEN'T HUNG OUT WITH MY SPRINGFIELD FRIENDS IN AWHILE I MISS THEM BUT THEY PROBABLY DON'T MISS ME!! OH WELL SHIT HAPPENS LOL NAW I JUST HAVEN'T SEEN EM LOL!!! I WAS TALKING TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT U GET OUTTA RELATIONSHIPS THAT DON'T WORK!! WELL I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND IN MY OPINION IT'S ALL A LESSON IN FACT LIFE IS A LESSON IT'S UR CHOICE TO LEARN FROM IT OR GET BEAT DOWN!!! RICK JAMES BITCH !!! LOL NE WAYZ I THOUGHT ABOUT SOME OF MINE AND ALTHOUGH THERE IS QUITE A FEW EX'S I WOULD HAVE TO SAY I'VE LEARNED PATIENCE, ENDURANCE, HOW TO TRUST, WHAT NOT TO TRUST, SOME REASONS ARE STILL COMING TO ME!! I HAVE SAT's WHICH SUX!!! HOPE I DO ALRIHGT!! I'M SO..... BUSY FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS IT SUX CUZ I WANNA GO DANCING!! MY FRIEND IS GOING TO BOOT CAMP WHICH SHE NEEDS, I HOPE DHE STRAIGHTENS HER LIFE OUT BEFORE IT'S 2 LATE. MY DATING LIFE IS ODD!!! I REALLY DON'T WANNA HURT THIS GUY THAT LIKES ME I'M TRYING NOT 2!!! I FEEL I HAVE UNFININSHED BUSINESS WITH A CERTAIN PERSON AND IT PISSED ME OFF AT FIRST BUT THEN I REALIZED NOBODY'S PERFECT AND LETITNG IT GO COMPLETELY WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER WHICH IS A BIG STEP FOR ME CONSIDERING IT'S HARD TO LET GO OF THINGS. I WISH HE KNEW THAT I DID LIKE HIM ALOT!!1 NOT NE MORE THOUGH!!LOL FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS!! I REALLY DON'T TRUST MANY GUYS OR I'M AFRAID OF LIKING SOMEONE TO THE POINT I'LL LOSE MYSELF OR GET HURT OR DO THE SAME TO THAT PERSON!! MOST PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR SOMENONE TO BE WITH TO MAKE THEM HAPPY!! WELL FUCK THAT!!! I CAN MAKE MYSELF HAPPY (MAYBE NOT IN BED!!! LOL) BUT I CAN STAND ON MY OWN TO FEET. I DON'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE UNTIL I GET OLD ENOUGH TO WERE ALL OR MOST OF MY GOALS AND ADVENTURE,THINGS I WANTED TO DO ARE DONE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ARE SCARED TO STAND ON THERE OWN. THAT'S THE WAY U FIND UR SELF AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT U HAVE A SELF WORTH AND UR STILL LOVED. LOVE SHOULD COME NATURAL AND SHOULDN'T FEEL FORCED. LOVE AND U WILL MET HALF WAY U SHOULDN'T HAVE TO LOOK OR WORK FOR IT OR EVEN LABEL IT! IT IS WHAT IT IS (1 Comment |Comment on this)